Queer Guy for the Naked Eye

Hello critters!

I’ve been trying to alternate between fiction and nonfiction books this year. I mostly have memoirs in the nonfiction department, a lot of ladies, from Reese Witherspoon to Carrie Fisher, but not only. I also have on my shelves the memoirs of a few experts from Netflix’s Queer Eye: Karamo Brown, Jonathan Van Ness, and Tan France. I read them in that order and now that I’ve finished Tan’s book, I thought I’d do a joint review.

I read each book in the voice of its author because I’ve watched so much Queer Eye it was impossible for me not to. It wasn’t hard either since each memoir is a testament to its expert’s temperament. Karamo, everyone’s favourite therapist, had a tone that seemed calm and patient, understanding of his struggles and forgiving of his faults. JVN, hairdresser extraordinaire and wonderful comedian, felt more energetic but just as willing to share his dark times so that others may feel less alone and feel a renewed sense of hope. Tan, the British guy with a flawless sense of style, had a more matter-of-fact approach, sharing anecdotes that shaped his outlook on life, sprinkling his characteristic sarcasm and fashion tips on top.

Karamo, My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing and Hope felt just like a therapy session. Each chapter is carefully calibrated to focus on a meaningful subject, show the reality of Karamo’s experience with that particular subject, and finally offer some advice to the reader so that they may find comfort and inspiration. Karamo explores the struggles that he faced at every stage of his life with honesty and mercy for his past self. I noticed that he said multiple times that at the time he lacked the language to express what he was truly feeling and that frustration manifested itself in his destructive behaviour. Now that he has the language, he is able to explain his emotions in detail and to pinpoint the moments that caused a shift in his attitude. He doesn’t try to give excuses for his past and his bad actions but rather analyze it with a clear eye to explain to the reader why it happened and how he found the strength and tools to make it stop. Karamo’s book feels like a therapy session because you are brought to examine your own patterns and are given keys to understand yourself better so that you can find the light at the end of the tunnel and come out with a brighter sense of self and of purpose.

Over the Top felt like having a conversation with your new best friend at a party about their life story. It is raw and vulnerable, honest and funny, vibrant and unashamed. We follow the non-binary icon on his life journey from colourful life of the party Baby Jack to successful hair stylist/comedian JVN by way of precious young Jonathan who simply made mistakes. I laughed with him, I cried for him, I sent him tons of loving telepathic hugs. Jonathan doesn’t shy away from getting deep into his psyche now that he knows how to put his distress into words. He talks about the proudest moments of his career, the defining victories of his teenage years and the darkest times too. You get to the core of what makes JVN such a caring and open person now, such a champion of self-care and validating your feelings. The goal here is clear. It’s not a pity party, it’s a celebration of life. It’s a celebration of all the people who went through shit but came out on top, and all the people who are going through tough times but will eventually find their way back. It’s a celebration of love! Loving the people who care about you and whom you care about, loving the world through the ups and downs, loving your imperfections and your strengths just the same. It’s a celebration of loving yourself and marching to the beat of your own drum.

Naturally Tan felt like a being at a dinner party where adults share anecdotes about themselves. It was a sophisticated record of relevant pieces of information about Tan’s life and character. We get to explore many of the facets of the style expert that we’ve seen on screen but we are given a deeper explanation of the events that shaped Tan into the man he is today. From his childhood in England, we hear about his outward struggle trying to reconcile being part of the Pakistani community and pursuing his Western interests, and about his inner turmoil trying to understand why it would be wrong to love another boy when he’s a serial monogamist. We also hear about his extravagant short trips to New York and lying to his parents about his whereabouts, as well as keeping his college degree in fashion under wraps because he was still not telling the whole truth to his family. Who knew the wise and responsible Tan had such a rebellious side? I personally loved finding out about all the wild things he did as a not-yet-silver-fox young man. One thing that Tan loves more than talking about fashion is gushing about his husband. Through the lines about their love story, you can feel the pure and precious love the couple has for one another. Tan France is decidedly a man of action. He took decisions that would make him happy and lead him to a happy life. He didn’t sacrifice his ambition and personal fulfillment in the name of family and tradition. I felt greatly inspired by the headstrong personality that followed his dreams.

One thing that’s common to the three books is the retelling of the audition process for Queer Eye. Each of them recounts it similarly but includes different details. Jonathan and Karamo both had a crush on one another upon meeting for the first time. Tan and Karamo immediately connected with level-headed Bobby. Everyone fought for sweet Antoni to get his rightful place on the show. The Fab Five group chat was created before the auditions were even finished because the guys with an eye for quality knew they had found their people.

All three queer guys lay emotionally bare on the page for the readers to see that it gets better. No matter how much you struggle coming to terms with who you are, no matter how much hardship you’re faced with, no matter how low your rock bottom is, it gets better. It will take time but you will find a way to shine again.

Let’s put it this way. Plants need to be cared for, they need water, soil and light to grow big and strong. We’re basically plants, we need some TLC, some water, some food and plenty of light coming from the heart of the people who love us most. Karamo, Jonathan and Tan all give us keys and tips to care for our own plants, representation of our body and soul. Have faith in yourself and good will come your way. Accept yourself and kindness will come to you. Trust yourself and respect will come your way. Love yourself and love will come to you.

Printed shirts and tears of joy 🦄

Nicky 🦊